Friday, August 30, 2013

Catching Our Breath

First of all, let me apologize for my total lack of blogging over the past 4 months.  Life has been wonderful, and chaotic, and fast, and busy, and new.  But, we are home.  In the truest sense, we are finally settled in our new town, new job, new life.  God has been so gracious to us.  We feel His presence and favor washing over us and our new church.  We have experienced some of the greatest highs and some pretty low lows over the past few months.  Where there is abounding grace and rejoicing, Satan is always close at hand ready to attack and attempt to kill any joy or life the Lord would bring (John 10:10).

We have experienced new life in people repenting of their sin and turning to Christ.  We have seen lives transformed by the gospel through a marriage book  (The Meaning of Marriage - Tim Keller).  We have felt overwhelmingly welcomed and loved by the people here.  From the first day we moved in to this very day the people of Freedom Church have served and encouraged and given sacrificially to us, and we are overwhelmed.  We have seen dear friends get married and engaged.  We have watched our kids grow and become best friends.  We have experienced the joy (and convenience!) of having parents close by.  We have loved our new home.

We have been protected, and loved and encouraged.  But we have been hated, attacked and discouraged by the enemy.  All of our moving, transition and settling, had taken a toll on our physical bodies.  A health issue I thought was taken care of re-appeared and my hubs gets wiped out with a rough case of gout.  It's an interesting place to be when you feel overwhelmed by God's grace and favor and yet on the brink of crumbling under the lies Satan feeds you.  I have been controlled by anxiety lately.  My diet restrictions to keep my health under control are a heavy load.  I feel the reality that the temptations given to me are custom made for me.  I love to cook and bake, and I feel paralyzed in the kitchen.  The Lord has given me grace to overcome serious body image issues, and I have lost a significant amount of weight.  I will choose comfort in any scenario and my skin hurts constantly with no obvious "trigger" we can pinpoint.  In my flesh and my sin, my mind will take me to a place of bitterness and discontentment.  But Gods word never goes there.  There is a purpose for all suffering, may it be cancer, or death, or itchy skin.

For me, music reaches somewhere deep in my soul that just reading truth sometimes won't.  There is something about a melody that penetrates my hardened heart unlike anything else.  I have listened to this song in many seasons of life.  And I will cling to it here again.  God is faithful, and He is being faithful even in the hardest things.  "God has been faithful, He will be again.  His loving compassion, it knows no end....He's always been faithful to me."