MomLife

We have been car searching since the sweet Passat got totaled.  We loved that car and what it stood for, overwhelming generosity from friends and from the Lord.  But, alas, there is a new season unfolding.

We have been working with an amazing man from our church to get a car from his lot.  Clint was very vague about what we wanted.  Good gas mileage, good car, great deal.  The next day he called Clint to tell him he had an amazing deal on this...

Oh yeah...that's right.  As of this weekend we will be chillin in this sweet ride.  We are officially minivan parents.  Oh how I never thought this day would come....

Healing

We are healing well from the accident, emotionally as well as physically.  My black eye is quickly fading, which makes Clint really happy (hes been getting lots of hateful looks when we are together...).  I've had to explain a few times "He didn't hit me...we were in a car accident".  Prayers have been felt, and we are in the process of getting a new car...more on that another day ;)

A few days after the accident, we were in Walmart buying new car seats.  Clint looked up and froze.  "I think that's the guy that hit us."  There are over 250,000 people in Greensboro, and lo and behold...it was him.  We walked up to him.  He hugged me and told me he was sorry.  It was surreal.  Clint had lunch with him yesterday.  Surreal.

The Lord has been so gracious through all of this.  We have felt loved on and cared for like family from our homegroup at church.  Meals came every other day.  They took care of our kids the day of the accident.  They came to the hospital to pick us up.  The Church has rallied around us.  They have been such a picture of the Lord's provision and compassion.  Our families have (as always) been amazing.  We've received cards, calls, texts and tweets.  Friends came to visit that night. 

The Lord works in very powerful ways through His people, and especially through a body of believers.  I have never been more convinced of the power and influence of the Church.  We really are intended to work together as parts of the body.  Some fingers, some toes, some eyes, some a tongue.  And when you get to see it working together it is as marvelous as the human body.  Breathtaking if you will allow yourself to see it for what it is. 

What happened

This has been one of the strangest weeks of my life.  Any tragic event is unexpected and scary, and all the more so if it happens to you and you don't remember it.  My sweet hubby shared what happened last Sunday from his point of view.  Mine is a little different....

We were on our way to church that morning.  I was particularly nervous because I was supposed to share my testimony to the near 200 people that attend Christ Church Greensboro.  I remember my Clint praying for me.  I remember Eden requesting Lecrae's "High".  I remember the babies dancing to it, laughing at each other.  They were in sync... it was so cute.  And then...I remember a man standing at my window asking if I was ok.  He was yelling, he cursed.  I was sure I was dreaming, but the dream wouldn't stop.  I felt like I couldn't breathe.  Someone handed me a gray shirt to put on my head.  I spat glass out of my mouth.  I looked down and saw Clint's journal, it had blood on it.  I wanted to ask Clint if it was real, but I never got it out.  All I could say was "we were just talking...".  A fireman asked if I could move.  I told him I could get out.  I couldn't.  I started to cry, realizing it was all real.  I looked out the window to see two friends of ours whose faces told me all I needed to know.  It looked really bad.  Clint told me the babies were ok.  He told me he loved me.  I shook my head, "I love you too".  A homeless man got Nias out of his car seat.  Another rubbed Eden's face to calm her.  The firefighters cut me out of the car and paramedics put me in a neck brace and then onto a stretcher.  Everything was still very cloudy.  I looked up to see a sign that said Friendly Ave. 

I knew I was bleeding, but I was unaware of how bad it was.  I stayed in a dream-like state until I was in the ambulance.  I started to weep, thanking the Lord for protecting my husband and babies.  Thoughts ran through my mind at warp speed.  "We just moved Nias, we never ride in the Passat, what happened?"  The paramedic began the questions.  Name, age, date, where we were headed.  I told the paramedic I was supposed to share my testimony at church, he responded that I was going to have a little more to tell now.  Amen.

I had CT scans on almost my entire body.  All were negative.  Grace.  A specialist came to stitch my eye up.  He was a believer.  Grace.  I look in the mirror to see that the cut missed my eye by 1/4 of an inch.  Grace. 

I got to go home that night and hold my babies.   I walked out of the ER that afternoon with minor injuries.  The Lord is full of grace.  We believe that, more now than ever.  I believe the Lord led dear friends of ours 50 weeks before the accident to give us that Passat so that it might save my life.  I believe He made Nias fussy in the car so that we would move him to the middle one week before.  I believe He led us to drive the Passat that morning so that when that Explorer hit us, my head and neck would be cushioned by the airbags.   And I believe He was in control of the whole thing.  He spared us much in the accident.  As we laid in bed that night we thanked God for His grace to us.  I don't know how this will work to our good (Romans 8:28).  Maybe it already has.  :)

Our Wreck, God's Will

One year ago today the Lord showed us His grace and goodness in a very real way.  I pray this would lead many hearts to rejoice in His sovereignty, protection and goodness again today.

Her eyes were open unusually wide.  Blood quickly filled her entire right eye and flowed down her face, glass was everywhere. “Rachel, are you okay, what hurts baby?” She couldn’t respond but just stared at me and moved in slow motion with this look of terror and confusion. Eden was screaming and Nias was crying. I placed my hand on her bleeding face, “Rachel are you okay, baby are you okay?” The door was crushed in just over her lap so she couldn’t move. I took off my shirt and told her to put it on the side of her face, she nodded in response. My hand was shaking violently and my phone was covered in her blood.  I looked up at a young man outside of Rachel’s door who began, “I’m so sorry, I just looked at my gps, I’m so sorry are you okay?”  I yelled, “its okay just call 911!” I kissed my wife told her I loved her and that I needed to check on the kids. To my relief they were both still strapped in their car seats. I got Eden out as she had a mouth full of blood but thank God it was just from biting her tongue. A man off the street was rubbing E’s face as I held her and another asked me if he could get Nias out of his seat.  Nias didn’t have a scratch. “Rachel baby are you okay?” “We were just talking...we were just talking...” she replied --Finally she was talking and beginning to cry, she was going to be okay. “Baby its okay, you are going to be okay, you can cry its okay, the kids are fine, its okay baby.” Grayson’s car turns left to avoid the intersection and I see him touch his breaks as I imagine he realizes it is us. I turn to see some friends, Tayler, Phil, and Bolick on the sidewalk. “Eden go to Tay Tay baby.” I race back over to the car with Nias as the medics are cutting my wife out.  “Are you okay baby?” They told me I had to back up but they think she is okay.  I fill out some paper work answer some questions and then me and the kids load up in a separate ambulance.  At this point I feel hopeful because she wasn’t in much pain and her body wasn’t mangled up, seemed like just a cut. I called our parents and finally got to the hospital.
    The kids checked out fine and Rachel suffered only a gash between and just below her temple and right eye. All 4 CT Scans came back negative. No broken bones, no internal injuries, only a bad cut that an expert face-doctor stitched up.  I loaded up the kids with a friend from our home group at church and Eden said, “That man hurt us. He threw rocks at us.” She always keeps things fun. I explained to her that we had a wreck and that those rocks were glass from the windows.  We are now home and recovering.

What happened?

We were on our way to church. Rachel was sharing her testimony, so it was a big day. We took Market St into downtown and turned left on Edgeworth. The kids were jamming out to Lecrae and we glanced back to see them both bobbing their heads (it was hilarious). Then a second or two later we passed through the intersection of Edgeworth and Friendly which are both One-way streets. There is a large house on the corner so there was no ability to see any traffic coming down Friendly, nor could they see us. A young man from out of town, Temitope, was looking at his GPS as he didn’t know where he was going, and never saw that he had a red light.  He said he was going 45-50 mph and I don’t think he ever hit the breaks. He ‘T-Boned’ us perfectly pushing us through the intersection.


Where was God?

My wife is a soldier. Last night as we lay in bed crying and praying she concluded her prayers with, “God we are just so thankful for the great blessings of this day.”  The number one emotion we felt last night was sober, authentic, thankful worship. And that is my main reason for writing this blog. I want you to know of the Providential Protection of our King in 3 very specific tangible and now miraculous ways.

A Week Ago
Nias hasn’t liked riding in the car recently and we have driven non-stop over the last month.  So last week we decided that instead of having Nias’ behind the passenger, we would try to squeeze him beside Eden’s car-seat which was behind the driver, so that she could entertain him.  So for 9 months and 3 weeks of his life, Nias was directly behind the passenger seat where the Ford Explorer T-Boned us. For a little over the last week he has been in the middle of the car instead.  Our son is named after Ananias in Acts Chapter 9 whose name means: ‘The Lord is Full of Grace’.  On the day Nias turned 10 months old, God displayed that He indeed is full of grace and specifically full of grace towards our little man. God orchestrated and ordained our lil man to not like the car over the last month, so that we would move him to the middle of the car, possibly sparing his little life.

Two Days Before the Wreck
    I love music. I am almost 30 years old but I have an amp and sub that was given to me years ago.  It has sat in my office for a while unused.  Friday I had to go do some yard work at the house that we lease to our staff in Wingate (that we bought, in part, with a $10,000 gift that was given to us from a couple whom we had never met. Specific answer to prayer.)  So I decided I’d hook up the speaker     in the CRV for my 4 hours on the road.  Therefore, I moved the kids car-seats to the Passat (that was given to us as an answer to prayer almost exactly 1 year ago.) Why is this significant? Both the CRV and the Passat have high side-impact crash ratings but only the Passat has side airbags. I really believe  that God providentially moved me to move the car-seats on Friday to protect Rachel from worse injury.

For the Last 6 Months
    I don’t know if it has been exactly six months but somewhere near that long, I have had this intense caution that I was going to be in a wreck in an intersection.  I have never been in a wreck before yesterday, but this suspicion was so intense that I told Rachel about it a month ago.  On the way back from Myrtle Beach I was at an intersection and my light turned green.  One car passed through just after it did and I waited for another 2 or 3 seconds and a second car sped through the same light. I called Rachel and told her that about the feeling I had and that I though maybe it was God keeping me from getting in that wreck on Highway 52 (the car was probably going 65 mph and would have hit my side).  Well, maybe God did give me that suspicion for that moment, but He surely did for yesterday.  Yesterday as I saw the Ford Explorer out of my periphery it was exactly what I had envisioned.  Now while I had pictured this in my head, I was always alone. Thats where God’s providence comes in. Through the Grace He gave via adrenaline and through what felt like 6 months of preparation, I was able to keep my head, think clearly and help my family in this moment of need. I am deeply thankful that He gave power in my weakness.  Today I let it out and really cried on the way too and from Chick-fil-A. God gave such grace for me to keep it together until then.

So what is the answer to the question, “Where was God?” He was near and active with us 6 months ago when the visions started. He was near and active with us a week ago when we moved Nias to the middle. He was near and active with us Friday when I moved the car-seats.  And He was near and with us as we left our house, turned left on Edgeworth, and entered the intersection.  He was near and active lining up the Explorer to perfectly T-Bone our car going 45mph.  He was near and active protecting Rachel in the impact, and keeping me calm. He was near and active in keeping me and the kids from having so much as a scratch. He was near and active as our church looked for Rachel to come up on stage to give her testimony and couldn’t find her, causing a man to calmly say, “I saw a wreck, maybe we should pray.”  He was near and active as one stranger gently stroked my daughters cheek and another got my son out of the car. He was near and active as firemen cut my wife out of the car and at the hospital where she was treated. He was near and active as our Home Group from Church took our children home, cleaned the house, got us some chocolate cake and organized meals for us this week. He was near and active through our parents presence at our home.  He was near and active as we cried and prayed together last night.  He was near and active through text messages, emails and phone calls. He was near and active as I rocked my lil man to sleep this morning and as Rachel read a book to Eden. He was near and active as He ministered to me as I let it go in the car to and from Chick-fil-A. He is near and active as your read these words because this is the kind of God we serve, Immanuel, God with us. He is Sovereign and He is good. I find much comfort in knowing it was His will for us to have the wreck and I have hope that any other “wrecks” me and my family will go through in this life, He will be near and active.

Please pray for Temitope. I text him yesterday assuring him that we were okay and not angry at him. He thanked me and apologized over and over. I assured Him that God had forgiven us in Christ for more sins against Him, that Temitope could ever commit against us.  I asked Him if we could get together for lunch so that I could share more about this God with him. He said he would love to. Pray it happens and that Jesus would spare his eternal life the way he has spared our eternal and temporal life.

“Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.’” James 4:14-15.

Today I am reminded why I exist. Life is but a precious vapor. Don’t waste it. By God’s grace live for the Glory of Christ and others joy in Him.  Protect and foster your relationships, first with God then with your family, your church and the lost and dying world.  His Grace is sufficient. I Corinthians 12:9-10.

Generations

The Lord has been gracious to constantly remind me lately of a song I loved in college.  As I walk through long and exhausting days of mommyhood, I have needed a reminder that my labor is not in vain and that every decision that I make has consequences, good or bad.  How I respond may affect not only my own children and home, but their children (and their children's children) years from now.  Some mornings I have woken up to this song in my head, even though I haven't heard it in years.  Praise God for His faithfulness to remind us of the Truth using music.  "Remind me of this with every decision, generations will reap what I sow."